Just off the top of my head I have a couple solutions to this issue: designate every month as a "parent lunch month" for 2 to 3 grade levels, thus during that month the parents of children in those grades have the opportunity to eat lunch with their child(ren) however often they want to; a birthday child's parent can have lunch regardless of which grade level's "lunch month" it is. Second, as to the issue of "resources", the parents of Newton Lee are very supportive of the school, staff and children and would be more then willing to raise funds to buy the "resources" required to allow them to eat lunch with their child(ren). Take for example our sell out bingo nights and teacher basketball games. I have surprised my children on many occasions by showing up for lunch and their priceless reactions are forever etched in my memory. I believe if the school administration and parents work together they can come up with better middle ground solution then the administration's complete ban on impromptu/unscheduled lunch visits.

As one parent of two children at Newton-Lee, I'd like to voice my strong concern and deep disappointment in the lack of leadership from the school's PTO and its top officer, Krista Darnell, on this important issue. If there was ever a time for a school's PTO to step forward and be a moderating influence in a debate over a school policy - this is it. Instead of stepping in and becoming a moderator and bridge-builder between the school administration and upset parents, the PTO has been AWOL. That is reprehensible. PTOs shouldn't exist to solely oranize bingo nights and Fall Festivals and coordinate volunteers. They are exist to provide a voice to parents - NOT just school officials and teachers - and the N-L PTO is as at fault for being totally tonedeaf on the lunch policy fracas as the school principal herself. A successful PTO organization rises not just to make the easy decisions, but is there to tackle the tough ones as well. There was a tremendous, early opportunity missed here - or, by choice, irresponsibly ignored and brushed aside outright. That not only did parents and teachers a disservice - but ended up hurting our children most of all under this new policy...

While I don't disagree with what UpsetDad wrote in terms of the role of the PTA, I do think we need to consider what's most important for all the kids and the teachers and the school's EDUCATIONAL purpose (sorry, but the school isn't there to offer social time for you and your child). If the lunch issue was becoming unmanageable, I really don't think your children are going to become emotionally damaged because you can't share lunch at school with them. But your reaction to this minor policy change shows your child how to react to change -- and from what I see, you're not doing them any favors. The principal made a policy decision based on the needs of the students and the teachers. There are so many other ways to be there for our kids AND support teachers. Instead of having lunch, why not volunteer in your child's class or in the library or volunteer for the many PTA events? My kids go to Belmont Station, but often the PTA is begging for volunteers. I volunteer in both my kids' classes (as well as many school events during the year), but have never had lunch with them at school, except for when it's specifically organized. It actually never occurred to me, to be honest, and my kids never mentioned it. It was never a part of my school experience, either (I don't ever recall parents in the lunchroom), so maybe that's why. Either way, I just don't see why folks are getting so upset over this.

I went to the Principle's Breakfast today to find out more information about the lunches. Like other parents, I to was upset, but after finding out accurate information I now know that the rumors swirling around are false. There are fire codes that are preventing us from having the ability to have lunch with our kids, Newton Lee is at capacity with it's students. This article only tells part if the story...

As a side note, I am thankful for the amazing job that our PTO does on a daily basis. They volunteer their time in untold hours a week to better our students education and school environment. You are appreciated!

Newton-Lee is an awesome school and an awesome community. The school has grown so much since it opened and what was possible a few years back is not anymore. The school went out of its way to keep lunches going until the facility became jam packed. I have enjoyed lunch with my child in past years and have eaten in the hall. It was an inadequate space to meet the demand and on more than one occasion last year, there was no room for my child and me to sit down to eat.

This is definitely not a simple issue, so I appreciate everyone weighing in on all sides.

Well said Carolyn! Every scenario possible has been explored. The administration and PTO have spent numerous hours on this. It is simple. Fire code is fire code. The safety of our children cannot and will not be compromised. Get the facts UD.

Its interesting how the fire code issue was never raised before now...not in any communications in August when this was first rolled out in a very "buried" way and completely miscommunicated to parents and children. Also interesting is how the "fire code" issue is cited for lunch visits, but fire code issues are never an issue when there is a massively attended "Bingo" nite at the school, or during a school concert in the gym, which I have attended and its so crowded its 'standing room only' with HUNDREDS of people in one room. Where's the fire code issue then? And if fire code is an issue at Newton-Lee, why isn't it an issue at other Ashburn elementary schools that currently have parental visits, whose student population #'s closely match Newton-Lee's? That's a terrible and alarming inconsistency that doesn't pass the smell test. Parents should not be scared away by a false 'fire code' excuse that is raised only for purposes of supporting a faulty and wrong-headed school policy decision, when clearly there are myriad other events that the school has hosted every month and there's nothing being raised about a fire code then. I'd love to hear what the school apologists (and PTO apologists) have to say about that one...

The reporter in this story talked to the principal – she's quoted, despite a comment above suggesting we didn't get that side of the story. The fire code was not mentioned. That being said, I have great respect for Principal Winters, who I have met. This is a tough change for some parents, and I promise was a tough decision for school leaders. Personally, I have no expectation of being able to eat lunch at daycare with my daughter whenever I want, nor do I expect that when she's in grade school. But I know I can go pick her up anytime I want, so it's not really an access issue. That said, change often concerns people, and expressing concern is fair. To suggest this story is one-sided, I think, is unfair. However, this space is for expressing your feelings whatever they are. Thanks to all for weighing in.

First of all, let’s get some things straight about school life and our PTO. No one here is suggesting the PTO doesn’t do good work. I know they do. We support them and *already* volunteer for them, and give money to them. And we already know Newton-Lee is great – but it was even greater when we could see our kids for a quick lunch a couple of times a *month*. End of story. But no organization gets everything right all the time, and the PTO missed a very critical opportunity here to try to resolve this early on, serve as a mediator, and engage on the issue with parents. The PTO is not the “Principal-Teacher Organization”, The “P” stands for parents, and it should represent our causes and concerns with the schools.

Second, to the point about schools being about academics – yes, we get that. That’s a given. But its silly and blind to think that school life is just about learning, just as its mistaken to think that work life is just about work and careers. School life is a 360 experience with a huge social component – recess and lunch and after school activities, for example, are a non-academic staple of the school day. We should strive to make every component of school life, academic and non-academic, a happy one for our children. When you remove a long-standing and cherished routine of seeing your kids once a week or two, it has an adverse impact on their lives that could tangibly impact the way they feel in the classroom at other times. (post continued)

Third, there are things that Winters said at the Friday morning meeting which are accusatory, inconsistent, and apparently not based on fact or policy. From what I learned from several participants, she was unyielding, defensive and at one point shouted “I AM THE PRINCIPAL HERE!”. That was never in doubt, but says a lot about the way the school is run. Principal Winters was also overheard telling a parent that she had “spies” in both the PTO and the Belmont Mom’s Club, where there’s been a flurry of email activity on this issue – almost 100% against the new school policy. She made it clear that she asks for, and gets, emails sent to her.
This is alarming on many levels, and creates an adversarial and “us versus them” atmosphere that is, unfortunately, a trademark of our current school administration. Is this the “Cold War” where there are spies and underhanded tactics, or is this an open, transparent and supporting system of principals, teachers, parents and students working together. The bottom line is, there is a middle ground here and it should be pursued. There’s an answer and a solution to every problem. To those parents who attended the meeting and talk about “rumors” and “getting the facts straight”, don’t be spoon-fed excuses.Stand up for kids and ask for accountability in school system policymaking. And please note the story coming from the Principal’s office on this issue is changing by the day and morphing ridiculously. (cont'd)

I and other parents plan to start making appointments next week to have lunch with our kids if there now is no “only once a year” policy. We plan to test it. If not, the next step is the School Board.
Lastly, on the space issue – I have personally been to the lunchroom twice in the past month right in the middle of the lunch period – and both times, one-third of the cafeteria was EMPTY. So, where is the “space” concern? And, last year, whenever I went to have lunch, I recall seeing perhaps a total of 10 parents having lunch with their kids, and never had an issue with finding a seat – inside the cafeteria or outside.
And you don’t truly understand the importance of this issue to our kids – remember, that’s what this is all about in the end – until you see the look on their face when you walk in the door to have lunch with them. It inspires them, uplifts them, gives them comfort and confidence, and they carry that with them back to the classroom for the rest of the way – making them a better student and colleague and well-rounded youngster. How easy it is for us to forget that in this ongoing debate…

I am the President of the PTO at Newton-Lee Elementary and I am very disappointed in Mrs. Graham’s article. She failed to include one of the most important pieces of information, of which she was aware, which is that fire code prohibits the school from placing tables in the hallway, which severely limits the number of seats we have for parents to come in and have lunch with their children. This was the main factor that led to the Administration’s decision to ask parents to make a reservation to come see their children at lunch, rather than to just come in unannounced. I think we can all agree that the ability to safely evacuate students and staff in case of an emergency should take priority in all cases!

I am also disappointed in the fact that neither Mrs. Graham, nor “Upset Dad” contacted me to find out what the PTO was doing related to this issue, or attended any PTO meetings to express their concern or displeasure. Had either of them done that, they would have known that PTO has been an integral part of the decision process all along. They would have known that PTO has spent many hours with Mrs. Winters in the past few weeks bringing parent concerns to the Administration, and trying to find other possible ways to allow parents in for lunch more frequently. They would also have known that it was PTO who set up the meeting on Friday because I and several Board Members had been approached by parents who were unhappy about it. It seems to me that is exactly what the role of the PTO should be...to liaison and foster communication between parents and the Administration, not to incite riotous mobs to try to bully the Administration into giving parents their way. The relationship between parents, PTO, teachers and the Administration is based on working together to do what is best for our children’s academic progress and safety.

Newton-Lee is an amazing school accomplishing many great things on a daily basis. We are a school at or near capacity. Our amazing teachers and staff have had to make accommodations. We have resource teachers who have to work out of a room designed to be a storage closet. We have classroom teachers who have to teach with the din of copiers running all day because the only place to put the copiers is in an alcove (which is up to fire code) in the hallway outside their rooms. Our teachers and Administration was willing to give up the school Conference Room for nearly three hours of each school day to accommodate the parents who wanted to come in for lunch while we continued to search for other, better solutions. These teachers and staff made these accommodations willingly because they know the mission of the school is the education of our children, and that should be our primary focus as well.

Here's what should be an easy question for Ms. Darnell: why did the PTO never issue a PROACTIVE communication about this issue when it was clearly top of mind for so many parents and children for TWO whole months? Why didnt that happen - via email, or postcards or notices in kids backpacks which we get every day? Why didn't Ms. Darnell show leadership by being in touch w/parents by her own initiative? The PTO has never had a problem doing that when they need volunteers or money. I find it very very suspect that on an issue like this, PTO leadership expects people to come to them. My understanding is that many parents did just that, & we're either told it isnt a problem, or they have heard no complaints, or just brushed them off. Its now the end of October - this should have been addressed LONG before, Ms. Darnell, and you failed to do that in late August. Are you saying this policy change was unknown to the PTO back then? If you were aware, why was no action taken then? I'd like to see a PTO that's more proactive and attuned to the needs of parents, and not just the school administration.

In addition, I'd also like to know why the lack of consistency and uniformity regarding application of the fire code raised above in a previous comment are STILL unaddressed?

If the PTO and Ms Winters are so informed (all of a sudden) about the fire code as a barrier to parental visits - I'd like to invite you to lay that out here in detail - assuming folks are fully informed about it.

Ms. Darnell, as a parent, I am offended by your poor and inappropriate choice of words in describing concerned parents who want to see their kids for a simple lunch a couple of times a month...was this really necessary or professional? >>>

"...not to incite riotous mobs to try to bully the Administration into giving parents their way."

If you claim to be an advocate for parents and our young children, does it help to label us as "riotous mobs" and "bullys"? On what basis did you make that choice of words - was there a riot or bullying event I/we are unaware of?

Like I said, the N-L PTO is clearly not going to do anything here to advance the cause and concerns of parents and our children on this issue, so its time to go to the School Board and LCPS main office and air our case there...

I stand by my reporter and this story, which does nothing but explain the issue. The reporter spoke with the schools PIO (logical person to call), the local school board member for Broad Run and the principal. The story did not criticize the PTO or suggest the PTO made the decision. Who knows, it may be a policy all schools have to adopt over time. If it's a fire code issue, I suspect that will be the case as schools become more crowded. But that's not an issue anyone raised in this story. However, if you have copies of emails or other information sent to parents about the fire code issue (or that you know the reporter to have been in possession of), I'll be happy to post them here. Are we not allowed to discuss this subject in a public forum?

Just for the record, the fire code issue did not come up in my conversation with Mrs. Winters. As for not contacting you, I did contact you in mid -Sept to see if you had heard anything about parents being upset over the policy and you said "I haven't heard anything either way". You did not mention the fire code issue then either, you just said it was about space. Mrs. Winters said it was about space, time constraints and lack of furniture. How can I include the fire code part in the story when it was not raised by you, Mrs. Winters or anyone else I spoke to including 3-4 school principals whose schools are just like Newton-Lees?

It is very obvious we have very passionate parents at NLE. What a great community of parents that want to be involved with their children! That is why we are blessed to have a moms & dads that are able to devote precious spare time in volunteering at the school. PTO members along with many of you out there know what details go in to every event however small or big it may be ! NLE is an open school that welcomes and encourages all parents, guardians, relatives etc...to get involved. We (parents, teachers, admin staffs) all should work together as a whole to make NLE the best school we can, and be proud of the great reputation NLE has in the community. The issue at hand is simply a matter of miscommunication. Could it have been communicated in better words ? YES. But~ If you were able to attend the principal's coffee this past Friday, we spend 2 hours discussing this very subject of lunch guideline ( Not a policy). You would have come to understand the reasoning behind the guidelines. ( Many important facts )
Sometimes it takes trial and error, and lots of learning to make a situation work for the majority. We all know it is challenging to please everyone all the time. NLE always tries best to accomodate, and is always open to comments and suggestions.
We are adults and we know what is reasonable !
Any questions or issues arise, send an email to Mrs. Winters, Mrs. Nichols, or Mr. Cadwell ! Find out the correct info and facts before getting angry! Please don't just assume.

Better yet, please attend the principal's coffee and our monthly PTO meetings ! The admin staff, teachers and board members LOVE any feedbacks !
There are no secrets, no hidden agendas, and we discuss all matters. All PTO budgets and funds are printed in black and white. All meeting notes are for anyone to review.
What I am saying is, by blogging and speaking poorly of your peers is not the solution. We are ALL in the same boat with the same goal. We need to work together. I am Sandy Martin, 3rd year VP NLE PTO, I am, like you a dedicated parent, and I stand behind my beliefs. I also stand behind the parents, and of couse the school. I think it would be helpful (because it is always a working progress) if those that are anonymous to come forward and join us at a meeting. it is much productive to discuss person to person... Instead of spending time blogging your frustrations, let's talk and work out a solution. Perhaps with your passion and enthusiasm, you would be a great board member in the future.

It appears that a lot a effort is being spent venting frustrations about lunch time visits with students and a rule that the principal has out in place limiting such visits. I would think that 90 parents a day would be a logistical nightmare and such a waste of time for school officials. Your time would be better spent attacking the root of the problem, which is the number of students and space constraints in the building. Until that can be corrected help to make you child feel special during breakfast or dinner time or by volunteering in the classroom. Also, you should make a special effort to help your child accept change or new rules by showing a good example if how you deal with things as the tones of these comments are just sour grapes. I am a Pennsylvania transplant and in our state you could not volunteer or be around students without Pennsylvania clearances. Just because a person is a parent does not always mean they a good people.

The issue isn’t even the large number of kids at school but the 90 parents visiting for lunch daily. I wonder if the other schools are dealing with the logistics of signing that many people! This doesn’t include tardy kids, coming/going for appointments, & parent volunteers. That is a HUGE amount for the office staff to deal with. It sounds disruptive to the other things they need to deal with like making sure our kids are safe & learn. Limiting parents to a certain amount of visits would also be time consuming for the staff to monitor. The article mentioned the overcrowding and space issues, isn’t that reason enough without the official word of “fire code.” If there isn’t a comfortable amount of space, then there isn’t a comfortable amount of space! It is wonderful this article was written to shed light on what is going on and what the REAL issue is here…OVERCROWDING IN ASHBURN SCHOOLS. Don’t waste your time attacking the writer of this article, the principal, or PTO president. All of these people have the children’s best interest at heart. Put your energy into allowing funding to build schools & support the ones we have. And accept that there isn’t room at the school & find a new way to make your child feel special – send a note in their lunch, volunteer in their classroom, sit with them and talk when they come home….Everyone is getting very heated & that isn’t what is best for the children.

Newton-Lee has changed the lunch visit policy! I am happy to report to those here on the blog who left comments, and to those reading this story, that parents of kids who attend Newton-Lee today recieved a monthly newsletter about latest school news. Buried inside the newsletter, and otherwise not announced by the school or PTO, is an update on the school visit policy. It states:

"We now have two tables outside the PE room in the
alcoves approved for limited seating. Because seating is
limited we are going to have to have parents continue to email
in advance to reserve a day and time for you to join your child
for lunch. We are hopeful this space will allow us to schedule
lunch visits on a more frequent basis and not just for special
occasions or birthdays."

This is a clear shift and big change from the previous policy, also buried inside the N-L newsletter from August, that allowed for lunch visits ONLY on birthdays and when the grandparents visit.

I guess fire code was not an issue after all, and the ruse and false barrier we thought it to be.

I want to thank the author of this story - Ms. Karen Graham - and Ashburn Patch, for shining a light on this issue when no one else would. I am convinced that without the publicizing of this wrongheaded policy, parents like me would still be relegated to see our child once at school during the school year. Local journalism at its finest. THANK YOU!

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OH MY GOD----REALLY? All of this heated conversation about having lunch with your child? I am a parent of children that attend NLE, and I really think this issue has gone WAAAAY beyond the issue of having lunch with your child. The facts are that the school is overcrowded, and people just don't like to be told that they can't do what they want to do. Get over it people, if having lunch with your child is THAT important--call, make the appointment and have your lunch or take them out of the school for a quick bite. But don't use this situation as a way to just vent your disapproval with the PTO or Mrs. Winters. If you want to change something, offer solutions and get involved.

Cara, Carol, Gayle: wow, you all really missed the point! Let me boil it down for you -- I want to do everything I can to make my kids experience at school - which ANY educator will tell you is a 360 dgree, integrated experience that involves academics and social interactions - a happy and joyous one. I am sorry you don't think that surprising your kids at lunch and making their day by spending 20-25 mins with them is nice and helpful to setting the rest of their day on a good note. I do - and so do many others. The bottom line is, the School and PTO really goofed here, and they've changed the policy. It was terribly mismanaged and miscommunicated. The fact that it changed shows it was wrong and parents were right to stand up for our kids. I dont need to try and make YOU happy - I know now that my kids will be happier I get to see them. That is all that matters. By the way - so much for all the safety and space excuses - there are none. The current solution seems like an easy one that could have been made long ago. Thanks to some constructive pressure, we got it changed and we won one for the kids. Your parenting - which comes across as cold and aloof - is different from mine. What we did is all about openness and transparency and good ol' fashioned community activism. Dont like it? Don't have lunch with your kids at school. I plan to - and often :)

Thank you Gayle! I appreciate it! It was something we went to bat for for our kids. I'll let most of your post speak for itself, which is all really sour grapes and bitter. I told my kids abut the change and they couldn't be happier - and I'll match my parenting style against yours everyday. But, I digress - like I said, your post's immersion down into spitefulness and personal attacks says it all. As far as "roll with the punches" is concerned, that sounds a lot more to me like "roll over and play dead" for the schools whenever they change something for the worse. They say "jump!", you say "how high"? They depend on folks just like you, Gayle, to just shrug your shoulders and walk away. Well done, girl. You can be a door mat if you want - not me. Here's a quarter - go call "Rent-A-Spine". I could not be more thrilled about how today turned out and that we did some good...lots of kids and parents will be happier for it for the rest of the school year! Hear, hear!

Oh honey, I feel sorry for you because you can't even tell when your sour grapes and bitterness comes out. I will say it again, did you really go to bat for your kids or was it for you? I am pretty sure that your children would be able to survive the day if you didn't come up to eat dinner with them everyday. I, in turn, will let most of your post speak for itself too. Just for the record, I am not the one that started judging over peoples parenting styles. I never once commented on your parenting style until you decided to attack mine. I simply was commenting on letting go and picking and choosing your battles. This one in particular doesn't seem like it is a deal breaker for me or my kids at Newton-Lee. I can choose what battles are worth my time and everyone elses, but clearly that is not the case for you. So go ahead, spend all your time bickering about every little change at the school and being a "helicoptor" mom, but remember one day your kids will be going to a different school and you will have to start all over again. It must be exhausting taking on the weight of the world. Me and my rent-a-spine will be happy to wait for the most important issue to come along as we have other things we need to get done.

Again...not worth any kind of thoughtful, intellectual response...you just keep waiting, dear, for that battle to fight :)

And you just keep waiting to not have to battle and control everything in life. I really hope that works out for you.

Spoken like a some one who knows how to surrender, cut and run at the drop of a hat...thank God our nation wasn't founded by the likes of "Gayle"! We'd all still be pledging allegiance to the Queen and sipping tea - watered down for "Gayle"'s stomach, of course...

Who is the bitter, spiteful one now? Wow, for someone who called me "cold" you know what they say, those who live in glass igloo's. If this is really the best you have to offer when it comes to the battle department, then I see why you spend your time on "winning" policy changes for school lunches. You really know how your time might be better spent, since you love a good battle, maybe you should consider arguing with school administrations of schools were the children's parents can't afford to take time off of work to visit their children at lunch time. Or schools that can't offer any kind of volunteer program at the school because the parents have to work 3 or 4 jobs to put food on the table for their kids. Before you judge me and what I am willing to battle for or not, take a look in the mirror and realize what a ridiculous thing to battle over. It's not like you never get to see your kids, but some parents don't. I don't surrender, I just use my head and fight for things that are worth fighting over. Again, I do believe it is you that constantly is trying to do personal attacks on me and my stomach and spine. And as you can plainly see, I am not afraid of a battle, I am enjoying this one a lot!

Bye-bye, "Gayle"...

Bye-bye, "loving mom". By-the-way, Gayle is my real name. What is yours?

Christie, you and Gayle are surely a few french fried short of a Happy Meal - youve blown this whole thing out of proportion...its stupid and silly to say that parents who want to spend 20 mins once or twice a month with their kid at school as overly doting and "helicopter". Sorry we dont agree with your aloof version of parenting...what works for us may not work for you...so what? Its inane and puerile to extrapolate that we want to have lunch with a 6 year old and therefore we'll be sitting in their lap during art class in college. Get over yourself and bottle up your bitterness somewhere else.

The fact that the school and PTO were compelled to change this shows they were wrong from the outset - and, remember ladies, OTHER schools HAVE SCHOOL LUNCH VISITS AND ENCOURAGE THEM!! That is coming from principals and teachers, who value them and know they are a neat and fun tradition that the kids - KIDS - love. So the only people here that don't seem to get it are - well, you two little turtle-doves!

First of all, thank you Christie! Second, "Not Mommie Dearest" I truly don't think we are the ones that have blown anything out of proportion. I am pretty sure it was not us that "browbeat" the administration into getting unlimited parent/child lunches back. I also don't appreciate the the office staff of the school now has to add "restaurant hostess" to their job description now that they will be taking reservations for lunches everyday. I asssure you, I do NOT have an aloof parenting style, I just think their might be bigger fish to fry then to worry about whether or not some parents get to have lunch with their children several times a week. I just choose to be involved when it suits me. Like I believe lunch time for children should maybe be a time to interact with their peers and learn that socialization, not having to sit in the hallway away from their friends. But none of this was the basis for my arguement. I was mostly concerned with how upset everyone got with a policy change. I guess when you work in the real world, you realize change, especially policy changes, are a fact of life and for something so silly (because you will see your kids in the morning and at night), that it just didn't need to be such a big deal. Of course parents should be able to have lunch with their children on special occasions, and I don't have a problem with once or even twice a month. I was mostly talking about the everyday or even several times a week. Continue....

That just seems like a lot to me. I am mostly upset by everyone's reaction to the policy change. What kills me is everyone is all up in arms over the administration making a decision without them. And continuing with the policy changes, when did schools lose the right to make decisions for their own property? And I would love to see parents try to explain why this is a big deal to other schools across the country when there are schools that have much bigger problems. I don't believe that this was all about the kids, I think it some of it was a way for parents to show that if they complain enough, they will win. Well, congrats, you won. I don't appreciate your sarcastic tone and name calling but I guess that is what I can expect at this stage of this debate. And I agree, what works for some doesn't work for others, has anyone asked the administration or the office staff if this actually works for them? I would guess probably not, but I guess as long as it works for all the parents, that is what counts.

Gayle, first of all you should take a stab at understanding the new policy, which you continue to cite in an errant and misinformed way. Let me help you: first, vists are not "unlimited"- they are asking for something like oncea month and thats FINE w/me. I think as many others did that once a year was unnecessarily extreme; second, the idea of 'making reservations' came from the school - also fine with me and apparently with them (have you spoken with them at all?); third, you don't need to 'lord' your choices and parenting over the rest of us - don't like visiting your kids? Don't go!; fourth, kids don't eat just with their parents, they bring 1 or 2 friends with them for lunch, so your point is irrelevant; fifth, I am aware of no parent who does this "every day". Lastly, school property is school property - oh, bought and paid for with my/our tax dollars, by the way. And as long as my kids are on it, I have a right to be involved in decisions, thank you very much...

Ok "not mommy dearest", you win. I am done with the issue. Congrats! Bye-bye.

Best news of the week! Thanks Gayle and thanks Christie...(tho I do prefer to go by "Helicopter Parent" from now on...has a nice ring to it!)

Waaaaaa, I can't go to lunch with little Johnny. I have to take more tennis and golf lessons or go to the gym an extra hour. Then I can start drinking wine at 1:30 vs. 3:30. Give me a break. This is school! Your parents didn't come in for lunch and look at you...OOPS that is a bad example. Look at the rest of us. Let it go! Volunteer at the fire department or the food pantry. Make you life have purpose!

Roger, funny - being with my kids does give me purpose and I go visit them at school for a nice lunch once or twice a month. By the way, I've been on more boards and volunteered with more local orgs than you can count on your hands...but judging from your almost indecipherable syntax and logic, sounds like you've been tipping at the boxed wine a bit more than the rest of us. You all will never get one simple point - there's nothing wrong with being allowed access to surprise your kid and make them happy for a quick lunch visit at school once or twice a month. That's all this is about, and the look on their face when they see you makes taking all your silly barbs, criticisms and insults worth it. Roger...over...and out! :)

Suprise Johnny, mommy is comming to lunch for the second time this month, wow that is a suprise. There will be a bigger suprise when I meet you at the bus stop this afternoon, because I do that daily. Then, for the grand suprise, I will wake you up tomorrow and have breakfast with you. Syntax error! Mommy dearest, NO MORE WIRE HANGERS! You made my day with your worthless justification, the look on their face, HA! More boards and volunteer time, I sincerely doubt it. I probably have you by 20 years, so I am way ahead. Finally, not boxed wine but a nice single malt at the club after golf yesterday! Unfortunately, I live among you people... I hope you get your wish. We need more socially inept children in the world that can't adjust to life because they couldn't have lunch with mommy twice a month. 10-4!

...And I menat that directed at everyone, not just Roger. We are all neighbors here.

NOVA Mom, I think what started all this off were parents who came on the board and started ridiculing other parents for wanting to have access to their kids for a fun, simple, innocent lunch once or twice a month. We asked for a change and got it. The school completely mishandled the policy change and went to an extreme by not allowing us a visit but once a year. All we want to do is make our kids happy and see them once in a while. Then, we got called "helicopter parents" and were even called bullies and "riotous mobs" by the head of the PTO. So the nastiness didnt start with us. This has been a long-held tradition at Newton-Lee and when something like that gets taken away, we're within our right to say "Hold on a second" and lobby for a change. Its called democracy and community activism. Others may think it isnt a big deal, and thats fine for them. But for other parents, we see it differently. Is that so wrong. Different strokes for different folks. Just deal with it and let us be. I haven't heard of ONE kid or parent who thinks the changed policy is wrong or not worth it. Its been blown out of proportion by parents (and nonparents) who just don't care or have the time to see their kids for lunch at school. It happens at every other elementary school in Ashburn - and it should continue to happen at Newton-Lee.