With last month’s Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) reporting that as many as 1 in 50 children in U.S. schools have Autism, the topic of Autism has created an increase in parental anxiety in my practice as a psychologist. Parents want to know what the CDC’s study and those numbers could mean for them and their own potential for having an Autistic child.    The parents who are most concerned are those who are either planning for pregnancy or who are pregnant and expecting. One parent I met with recently expressed a profound sense of relief after learning that the sex of their …

Merging His and Hers Financial Planning Dr. Mike,I work for the government and the Sequestration is something that is very real to me. My husband is completely oblivious to our reality and is still spending like everything is okay. For him it is life as usual as he continues to purchase electronics and plan for a pricey family summer vacation. How do I knock some sense into him that the Sequestration is real?         R in Loudoun County R,Perhaps your husband is oblivious to your shared financial situation, or he may be in denial over it because it is consciously too much for him to handle. …

Hollywood’s Mental Shortcomings Dr. Mike, My husband has Bipolar Disorder, and we recently saw Silver Linings Playbook. I realize the movie is a big hit and that a lot of people really enjoy the movie’s feel-good message, but we are both very offended by the story. Bipolar Disorder is a serious mental illness, and it has compromised my husband’s life, and our family’s life, in many ways over the years. To portray Bipolar as something that you can get over in a short period of time is not only ludicrous, but also insulting to those of us who live with Bipolar, and its painful realities, …

My Neighbor’s Odd Behavior Dr. Mike,We live next to a family with a very odd teenage boy. Many of his behaviors are consistent with Adam Lanza’s in that he isolates, has no friends and has a mental health history (so I have been told by other parents in the neighborhood). My children also think the boy is very odd as well. My husband thinks I am being ridiculous, but how can I be certain that the boy next door won’t be a threat to my children or others? After the Newtown, CT, shootings, I am really scared that something will happen in Virginia.  Help. I in Loudoun County I,What Mr. Adam Lanza…

Debating the Santa ‘Lie’ Dr. Mike,My husband feels that we should not lie to our 3-year-old child about Santa Claus. He is concerned that our child will resent us for it later and that it will compromise her trust in us as parents. He says he “wants to prepare her for life” as soon as possible. I, however, can’t stand the idea of raising our child in a Santa free environment. He and I grew up with childhoods that included Santa at Christmas, so his over the top pragmatism just doesn’t make any sense to me. I also have such fond memories of Christmas and want the same for our children. …

Dr. Mike, My son’s principal, Ms. Kathleen Hwang of Sanders Corner Elementary School, was killed this past week when she was hit by a car while crossing the street. We told our son about the news, and he is very upset. He is so upset that he doesn’t want to return to school on Monday. Do you have an advice on how to get us through this difficult time? L in Loudoun County   L, First of all, Ms. Hwang’s tragic death is a tremendous loss to the community. She was an excellent principal, and was very well liked by her colleagues and students. We all process traumatic news differently, and while …

How Can I Get My Family to Unplug? Dr. Mike,I have two teenagers and a 9-year-old and they (and their father) are addicted to their screens. We used to have family dinner and weekends together, but now everyone is behind a TV screen, computer, iPad, gaming system or smart phone. It’s driving me crazy. Any thoughts on how to unplug and reboot my family? K in Loudoun County K, It seems that you are alone in your position that screen time usage is a problem in your family, so eliciting change will likely be met with defense by others. I would start by speaking to your husband about how you feel…

Patch contributor Dr. Mike takes a break from reader questions this month and ponders the psychological basis for our voting decisions. Polls show President Barack Obama and Governor Mitt Romney neck and neck in their race for the presidency. And with the election just days away, both gentlemen are working hard to secure your vote and a victory. The economy. Obamacare.  Foreign policy. Medicare. Education. Social Security. But what if these political issues, or at least how you feel about them, are actually not entirely in your control? What if the vote you cast on Nov. 6 turns out to be …

What’s Up with the Loudoun Gamer’s Union? Dr. Mike, What are your thoughts on the Asperger’s teen support group, Loudoun Gamer’s Union? The group meets monthly at the Rust Library in Leesburg. I was told by the librarian who runs it that the group promotes gaming for teens while the parents meet separately in another room with her. As a mother of a teen with Asperger’s, I am always open to new social possibilities, but am reluctant to try this one for a few reasons. First, my son games plenty enough and I don’t see how the meeting is therapeutic. Second, I was told that there is no formal …

Money and Secrets Dr. Mike,My parents have rented a beach house for our entire family for many years now. This year my husband, our children and I spent several days with them, as did my brother and my sister and their spouses and children. My parents have always paid for the beach house without complaint, but this year I offered to chip in and paid half … without telling my husband. I purposely avoided telling my husband because he would have immediately expected my siblings to contribute equally. The problem is that my husband and I make very sizable incomes and my siblings do not. More to …

Teaching Tolerance Dr. Mike,My husband and I were at the movies the other day with our 8-year-old son. There were two teenage boys in front of us who were holding hands, which was uncomfortable for my husband to see. He was uncomfortable with having our son witness other boys display romantic affection in public in that way. My husband became so upset that we had to change seats, which upset both my son and me since we ended [up] with horrible seats. This wasn’t the first time we had to leave some place because of my husband’s disdain for homosexuality. My husband is vehemently against …

Facebook, Family and Concerning Comments Dr. Mike, I know you just wrote about Facebook last month, but I have my own Facebook dilemma that I hope you can help me with. My 16-year-old niece has posted what I think are very concerning comments about her hating both herself and life. I reached out to her father (my brother) to express my concerns, but he just brushed me off, telling me that I am “being overly dramatic.” Neither he nor his wife is a Facebook friend with their daughter, which I think is irresponsible on their part. But I am and have access to her posts. Help. R in Loudoun County…

Assessing a Teen’s Actions, Needs Dr. Mike, Our 16-year-old son has become increasingly oppositional and defiant in the home this year. He is also smoking pot, drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes, although his tobacco use is probably the least of our concerns at this point. He has pretty bad academics this year as well. My husband and I are beginning to think he needs to go away given the stress he is causing his siblings and us. His attitude and outbursts have become unbearable for us all, and we tried everything with no change. My husband thinks our son just needs discipline and …

Hair and My Child’s Ego Dr. Mike, Our son is 4 years old, and I would like to grow out his hair since I think it would be a great look for him. I’d also like to do some streaks or highlights for added effect. My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t want our son to have long hair since he fears others will think he looks like a girl or is different. I keep trying—unsuccessfully—to convince my husband that it’s the 21st century and that he is being old-fashioned. What do you think? I in Loudoun County   I, I don’t think either of you are right or wrong in your positions, but I would ask you to …

Kids Meals, Not for Everyone Dr. Mike,My husband and I recently went to a restaurant for lunch, and I requested a kid’s meal portion off the menu since I am on a diet and didn’t want a large meal. I also wasn’t in the mood to spend $12 on an entrée. The waiter refused to take my order and argued with me that their kids’ meals are for kids only. The manager supported the waiter’s position. We ended up leaving that establishment without ordering, upset and have no intention of returning. In my opinion, in this economy the restaurant should’ve been thankful for my business, regardless of what I …

Divided Over LCPS' Excessive Tardy Policy Dr. Mike, What is your position on Loudoun County Public School’s action to take parents to court for their children’s excessive tardiness? My husband thinks it was the right decision; that all parents have a duty and obligation to make sure their children get to school on time. He refers to the two families who have been charged as being “special” since these parents do not appear to feel they have to abide to the same rules the rest of us need to. I see his point but feel that the Loudoun County Courthouse isn’t the forum to settle the matter.  It …

Frustrated by “Mr. Jones’” Commute to DC Dr. Mike, My neighbor and I commute to the D.C. area for work.  He feels that it is perfectly fine to illegally use the airport lane on the Dulles Toll Road to speed up his commute. I, on the other hand, am honest and my commute time is always so much longer than his. I want to tell him how I feel, but I don’t think he will get it. I see him almost every morning when we leave for work, and it drives me crazy knowing what he is getting away with.  O in Loudoun County   O, You choose to live your life by a moral code that your neighbor does not follow to…

Tips for Tackling New Year’s Resolutions Dr. Mike, Every year my husband and I come up with New Year’s resolutions, and every year we fail to achieve them. Any advice on breaking this horrible trend of ours? I’d like to lose 20 pounds, and he’d like to quit smoking. K in Loudoun County   K, First of all, I don’t think you should be so hard on yourselves. According to surveys, more than 90 percent of New Year’s resolutions fail, with close to 50 percent of those failures occurring by the close of January. New Year’s Eve has always been a time to reflect on the changes we want, or need, to make…

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is for Real Dr. Mike,I’ve noticed that I tend to get down this time of year, and I also tend to eat more and need more sleep during the late fall and winter months. My husband has joked for years that I’m like a bear in hibernation from November through March. Our kids are now 3 and 6, and I don’t want them to see their mom as being depressed during the holiday season. My brother-in-law is a physician, and he thinks I have Seasonal Affective Disorder but that condition just seems absurd to me. What do you think? I in Loudoun County   I, Many of my clients …

Dr. Mike, Our son is finishing up high school this year and is applying to universities. He is only considering schools out of state, but we can’t afford those tuitions. My husband and I have tried our best to explain our financial situation to him and to sell him on Virginia schools. He told us that he didn’t care if he needed to take loans out and that he wasn’t going to attend an in state school no matter what we said or did. And the schools he’s considering aren’t even that great. Why on earth does he want to go to a state school in another state when he can go to a Virginia school for a …